Make Small Talk Less Painful

Many people dread small talk.  You know, the cocktail party chatter, networking, and anytime you find yourself in a room full of strangers that you are expected to interact with socially.  Ugh!  If you are one of these people, here are a few easy tips on how to have more fun at your next networking event.

Much has been written about how to become a better conversationalist, and usually the tips go like this:

• Smile
• Ask questions 
• Be a good listener

All of these instructions are valid, for sure, but there is a lot more to being a good conversationalist.  For example, to become a good listener, the instruction is usually to be genuinely interested in what the other person is saying.  But what if they are boring the pants off of you?  What if they are talking about a subject that is so foreign to you (i.e. over your head) that you can't follow what they are saying?  How can you possibly generate "genuine" interest in something you are so genuinely NOT interested in?  Here are some ideas....

Remember, They Are Here to Network
Though your conversational partner may not be acting like they want to talk to anyone other than you, they came to the event for the very same reason as you; to meet people.  Be a good friend, and help them do it.  When you find yourself drowning in a boring conversation, look for people walking by who might be more interesting to talk to, and invite them to join you.  Don't think of this as dropping a boredom bomb on them.  Simply invite them to join you, introduce them to your conversational partner, and give them a brief synopsis of the most interesting (i.e. least boring) parts of the conversation so far.  Then ask them a question that is loosely related to the subject, and hope that they take it in a different direction.  No need to make the earliest escape possible, as you don't want to appear rude.  You end up looking great because you are the conduit connecting people to each other.

Listen For Detour Opportunities
The advice to be a good listener is great, but you need to do more than just process the words that are coming out of the other person's mouth.  Especially if the conversation is heading to Boresville, you need to be listening for something very specific; for an opening.  You want to listen for little hooks in the conversation that you can grab onto and ask a question that will direct the conversation to a topic you find more interesting.  For example, if your partner is blabbing on and on about a golf trip they took to Scottsdale, and you have no interest in golf, you could grab onto "Scottsdale" and ask them how far that is from the Grand Canyon.  "Oh, you've never been there?  It's one of the most beautiful places to see a sunset.  What national parks have you been to?"  Viola!  The trick here is that you are not hijacking the conversation so that you can tell your own story.  You are just redirecting your partner to speak on a topic more interesting to you.  In the end, your conversational partner will only remember how easy it was to speak to you, not necessarily what you talked about.

Escape With Grace
The classic phrase to escape a boring conversation is, "Excuse me, I need to get another drink/go to the bathroom/check my voicemail."  And while these do often work, there is always the chance that the person follows you.  To truly make a graceful exit, you need to be respectful of what your partner might want to achieve at this networking event.  First of all, be polite.  Thank them for the great conversation (even if it's a lie).  Second, ask for their business card and tell them why you might give them a call in the future ("if I am headed to Scottsdale anytime soon, I am going to give you a ring.").  Third, ask them if they are trying to meet anyone specific at the event.  Tell them that if you bump into that person, you will try to introduce them.  Lastly, wish them well ("enjoy the rest of the event").  Now head to the bar for a refill.

Help Others Be Successful
Overall, one of the best ways to be a good conversationalist is to make others feel comfortable.  Most people find it difficult and nerve racking to make small talk.  The more you can do to make them feel comfortable and help them make connections, the better you are going to look.  At their core, all of the tips above focus on how you can help others be more successful at networking, not simply to escape from a boring conversation.  By keeping your focus on how you can help others, people are going to remember you as one of the most interesting people that they meet at any event.

Everything Starts With A Conversation

A job interview.  A sales call.  A business relationship.  Even romance.  The way we communicate with each other orally is one of the most overlooked skills by today's professionals.  No matter how many new social networks are invented, the core concept of communicating face-to-face will always trump the influence of chatting online.

Thank you to my friend, Nick Staron at Jackson Hole Adventure Video, for helping me with this video commercial.  True to my statement above, this video only scratches the surface of how Dialogue Business Strategy can help you and your co-workers communicate more effectively with your customers and each other.

Call me anytime to discuss how improving your communication skills will help improve your business.  My cell number is 307-699-1159.  I look forward to chatting with you.

Sincerely,

John Morgan
Owner / President
Dialogue Business Strategy, Inc.
Jackson Hole, Wyoming, USA

The Winner Often Loses

Have you ever met an aggressive sales person who pushes and pushes as hard as they can to make the sale, hopefully wearing down their customer enough that they finally give in? Chances are, your reaction to that sales person was not very favorable.  Even if you did give in to that initial purchase, you probably never wanted to deal with that salesperson ever again. You stopped taking their calls. You blocked their email address. And you may even have told others to "watch out" for this salesperson in the future. In the end, the salesperson may have won a sale, but they lost your future business.

What Is "Internal Marketing?"

After a recent seminar that I presented, I passed my business cards around to the audience and asked if anyone had questions.  I was surprised when one of the first questions was not about the presentation, but about my card.

"Your cards lists, 'Sales Consulting, Customer Retention, and Employee Engagement" the gentleman asked.  "How does employee engagement fit in with all the sales & marketing stuff?"

"Great question," I responded.  I then challenged the audience to consider the "Identify Your Target Customer?" exercise we had worked on earlier in the presentation, and to substitute the word "customer" with the word "employee."  In many instances, employees are your core customers! 

Is Your Brand Out-of-Control?

If you've answered "Yes," you are probably better off than you think. For years, companies have talked about "branding" as if it was something tangible that they could control.

Design a logo, write a tag line, test it with some focus groups, and viola! You have a brand.

No, actually, you have a logo, which is, at best, an image that people associate with your brand. A brand is best defined as: the customer's perception of your company. It's not what you tell your customers about your company, it's what they tell you.

You don't own your brand. Your customer owns your brand.
This is what makes the concept of "branding" so powerful. When your business strategy matches exactly the actual experiences of your customers, you have created an unstoppable marketing force.

Staying Ahead of the Curve

Woah, it’s been quite a while since my last blog entry! Thankfully, my absence is the result of being extremely busy this summer. Aside from the obvious benefit of being busy ($$$), working with new clients and new projects has been a great learning opportunity! I am convinced, there is no better way to keep ahead of the curve, keep energized, and pursue innovation than to be proactive about working with new projects.

“To stay ahead, you must have your next idea waiting in the wings”   -Rosabeth Moss Kanter

Copy This Practice

Earlier this month, my wife went out of town for a couple of weeks to help her company with a project in Denver.  Before she left, she asked if I would bring her car in to have some service done, to which I agreed, of course. 

As I called Teton Motors, our local GM dealer, to schedule an appointment, it occurred to me that the car would be listed under my wife's name.  When I arrived at the dealer a few days later, I let the gentleman behind the service desk know that I was dropping the car off for my wife, offering her name to help him easily locate the file in the computer.  Sure enough, he found it right away.

"My name is Bruce," he said extending his hand over the counter to shake.  "Please let me know your name, and I will add it to the records for this vehicle."

Immediately, I was impressed.  This gesture seems simple enough, but believe me, it is more complex than you may imagine.  Bruce identified an opportunity to use a conversation to connect with one of his customers, and he executed it very well.  Let me explain.

Listening to Guy Kawasaki

A couple of months ago I had the opportunity to hear Guy Kawasaki speak at a conference in Banff, Alberta. I was very excited to hear Guy live and in person, because I have seen his books in just about every airport bookstore I have visited, though I have never actually bought one. Of his, that is.

Interested vs. Interesting

Here is a fundamental difference between sales & marketing. Traditional marketing has always been about grabbing your customer's attention and getting them excited about your product or service; being interesting.

Sales, on the other hand, is all about conversation; two-way dialogue. And one of the hallmarks of conversation is that both parties have to be interested in what the other has to say.